Our Friend Birdsfan Is Being Stalked….

…by a vicious killer squirrel. :lol:

I hope Birdsfan can make it through this time. I wish him the best. He's lucky it not a flying killing squirrel.

I hope Birdsfan can make it through this time. I wish him the best. He's lucky it not a flying killing squirrel.

According to him, it jumped at him, several times and it sounded as if it took flight. It also sounded, from his description, that it looked something like this. :lol:

^"We should have shotguns for this gig."

Taser would be useful now BF.

Oh Jeez!

 

Let me tell ya', that thing was a flying squirrel! And that little booger was freakin'' nuts!

 

RTS - Was your computer in the shop or something, that it took you this long to use this against me? :irked: I told you the story four days ago.

 

I told Rockmom this story as well. At least she didn't blab the whole thing...unlike some people! Here's what "really" happened, as I related it to her that day:

 

 

I'm telling you this for your own protection!

 

A certain population appears to be taking a militant stand against the rest of us! I fear it could signal an attempted world take-over, ala Planet of the Apes. We should all be very afraid!

 

Here's what went down early this morning:

 

As I strolled out onto the back deck, I suddenly became aware that I was not alone. About ten feet in front of me, under a large over-hanging tree, sitting among the ceramic bears and squirrels, was a REAL squirrel. Usually, not a problem. However, this guy had allowed me to approach dangerously close. And he wasn't moving away. I slowly approached, expecting the timid little creature to scurry away, as they always have in the past.

 

OH NOO!

 

This guy jumped through the air at me like Hulk Hogan off the top rope, and landed on the deck railing, not five feet away. Then he upped the ante by jumping onto the deck chair right next to me! Next stop...my face!

 

I backed off. He wasn't moving. I backed off once more, and he lept back to his original position.

 

I slowly tried another approach, not sure why. This time, I avoided eye contact and pretended to be grazing, per instructions of Animal Planet's Jeff Corwin.

 

He attacked again!

 

Again, he sailed through the air in a provocative advance. He had a really mean look on his little face, and I'm pretty sure he fully intended to eat me. And I'm not talking about any cute little nibbling here either. I swear he had his beady little eyes fixed directly on my jugular!

 

I retreated back toward the door. He returned to the wall. Now we had a stand-off on our hands. I was not about to sink to the level of being forced inside by a glorified yard rat! So we just sat there...staring at each other -- each afraid to blink.

 

I decided to resort to measures recommended to anyone in imminent danger of being consumed by lions or tigers or bears...(oh my)! I made myself seem as large and ferocious as possible. Now, I figured I already had "wide" pretty well covered, so I went for tall. I waved my arms, clapped and yelled at the little monster.

 

Thankfully, these drastic measures took effect on the creature. He scampered back up the trellis and into the tree. Aww, I didn't want to have to get tough with the little fellow; but he left me no choice.

 

Only problem I have now...I'm pretty sure all of our neighbors now think I'm a total imbecile! :irked:

 

 

 

See? No big deal. Just a normal every day occurrence that could happen to anyone.

By the looks of it, we need to stop airing "Shark Week" and start showing "Squirrel Week".

By the looks of it, we need to stop airing "Shark Week" and start showing "Squirrel Week".

I agree with you there. I think someone needs to look into government protection and have a name change. Squirrels do not forget the people the attack :lol:

Umm, BF, you left the part out where the little critter is sitting in the tree staring at you through the window.

 

Look familiar?

You're killin' me! :lol:

 

 

You took those pictures yourself, didn't you? I know you have that raccoon blind* set up in your backyard.

 

 

 

 

*He cleverly camouflages himself as an ordinary set of stinky garbage cans.

You know, those pictures are actually a little scary. It appears I may be needing counseling from this.

 

 

 

The little punk was staring at me -- right through my bedroom window. I think he was calling me out, I really do! :irked:

You're killin' me! :lol:

 

 

You took those pictures yourself, didn't you? I know you have that raccoon blind* set up in your backyard.

 

 

 

 

*He cleverly camouflages himself as an ordinary set of stinky garbage cans.

:lol:

 

Just remember, while you're sleeping.....

Run To State, I think it is not Birdsfan being stalked. I think it is the squirrels who are being stalked!

Run To State, I think it is not Birdsfan being stalked. I think it is the squirrels who are being stalked!

:lol:

You know, Dueling Banjos is one of his favorite songs, so I wouldn't put anything past him at this point. :lol: :lol: :lol:

There is a squirrel hunting thread in the outdoor forum that talks of hunting the little critters. Maybe the terroist squirrel's death and then fried squirrel is the perfect solution.